Sibling Rivalry!

We often think of the Bible is about big theological concepts.

We think it is about the meaning of God, the meaning of existence.

And certainly there are theological concepts in the Bible.

But really what most of the Bible is about is family.

The Bible is a story about a really big family that struggles to live together, and love each other.

The Bible is about how God’s promises come true despite all of the complications that come with family.

This Lent we are going to be hearing and talking about one of the central Biblical stories about family.

Our Sunday school is going to be learning about the story of Joseph, and I thought it would be interesting and fun for us as a congregation to also hear that story in worship.

It will be the texts that I preach on this lent.

It is important from the start to understand what is going on in this story.

God made a promise to Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars.

And most of Genesis is the story of the obstacles that make it difficult for that promise to come true.

What we hear this morning is that Joseph is the favorite of 12 sons of Jacob, who was Abraham’s grandson.

My reading of the story is that Joseph is a spoiled brat.

He likes to brag to his brothers about how great he is going to be, and he often tattles on them to their father.

Anyone who has had a sibling can identify with these things.

Within a family there is often sibling rivalry.

Siblings often tattle on their brother or sister.

They will often feel superior to the other.

In our house when one of our children are in trouble the other one seems to take great pleasure that their sibling is in trouble and they are not.

Sometimes they even brag about how good their behavior is compared to the other.

Sibling rivalry is part of life for those of us who have a sister or brother.

According to an article I read in Psychology today, “While few adult siblings have severed their ties completely, approximately one-third of them describe their relationship as rivalrous or distant.

They don't get along with their sibling or have little in common, spend limited time together, and use words like "competitive," "humiliating," and "hurtful" to depict their childhoods.”

So that is what is so great about the Bible is that it helps us understand God by telling us stories we can identify with because they are about real life.

We can understand why Joseph’s brothers “hated” him.

Joseph’s story is a human story.

Today we see that it starts in a human way.

With a rivalry with between brothers, it starts with sin.

It is appropriate that we begin our Lenten journey here with sin.

In the start of this story there is plenty of sin to go around.

First, we have Jacob.

Jacob should know better than to favor one son over the others.

Sibling rivalry is often caused by parents who show favoritism to one child over another.

It is caused by a parent’s inability to recognize that all of our children are gifts of God.

Each of them come with unique gifts and talents and as parents we have to be careful not to try and make our children feel that they are less than their siblings.

We have to uphold the wonder and beauty of each.

We have to celebrate their accomplishments of each as they have the ability.

Perhaps the worst thing a parent can say to their child is “why can’t you be like your brother/sister.”

Jacob is guilty of playing favorites and stoking the sibling rivalry.

Second, is Joseph.

Like I said earlier he is a bratty kid.

He goes around telling his brothers about his dreams of greatness, telling on them to their father.

I can imagine showing off his wonderful coat.

He fails to recognize that being a sibling also means having some sense of humility.

Perhaps one of the best things our siblings can do for us is to teach us how to get along with other people.

They teach us that we are not the center of the universe.

They can teach us how to be humble and gracious as we allow others the spotlight.

Joseph is young and has not learned this.

And of course, the brothers.

I don’t really even need to talk about them.

No matter how much of brat he is Joseph does not deserve to be sold into slavery.

There is no excuse to lie and tell your father that your brother is dead.

That is the point it is hard for us to allow our siblings to have success.

But Joseph’s brothers go an extra mile in how much they let their hate for him overtake their actions.

There is plenty of sin in this story.

And we see right away that this sin is putting in danger God’s promise.

What will it mean for one of the brothers to be sold into foreign hands.

This is a big problem.

What will it mean for Jacob?

What will happen to Joseph?

What will happen to the brothers?

God can’t allow the brothers to prosper after what they did to Joseph?

Will Jacob recover after losing his favorite son?

Will Joseph survive in a foreign land?

The Promise of God is a promise of a family together being God’s people.

This story puts all that in jeopardy.

Isn’t that always the issue?

How will our sin, our petty jealousy, our immaturity, our mishandling of the things God has put in our hands, mess up God’s promises?

That is where our story begins.

Because we are in many ways like Joseph we have dreams of grandeur in our head.

We are seeing signs all around of how much we are special.

But we are unable to see beyond that.

In my last congregation there were two sisters who didn’t like each other.

I was told on my very first Sunday at the congregation that the two sisters did not talk.

They hated each other.

I was wondering how that was going to affect the ministry of that congregation.

I was wondering how I would navigate that relationship.

I don’t remember why they were fighting.

And I don’t remember it ever being a real problem, except that one of them didn’t come to church very often.

But when I first heard of it I didn’t know how this would affect the church family.

That is what we are talking about this morning.

How our sin gets in the way.

How it is always a question mark in the scheme of things.

And perhaps the biggest problem is that we don’t see it.

Jacob wasn’t aware of how his behavior was affecting his sons.

Joseph seems unaware that his dreams made his brothers hate him more.

The brothers don’t seem bothered by what they did to Joseph.

How would this story look different if the characters knew about how their sin affects others?

That is what lent can do for all of us.

It gives us time to take stock of how our sin hurts other people.

It gives us time to think about how we can mend the family of God by not being blind to the havoc our sin takes on others.

How can we repair the relationships of those we have done wrong?

How can we find a way to a kinder and gentler interaction with our family?

Families can be difficult.

The Bible is story about family.

About the ways we hurt each other.

This lent let us take time to consider how we have hurt one another and make amends to each other for it.

Let us put aside sibling rivalry to love each other, to celebrate each others gifts, to humbly allow others to shine in the spotlight.

Let us put aside our jealousy, our blindness to the needs of others, our immaturity, and our dreams of grandeur so that we can be part of God’s family that lives in God’s promises.

Amen

Why Don't They "Get It"?

A couple of years ago I was hanging out with pastoral colleagues at a conference.

A newly ordained colleague was talking about her new call.

She was talking about how the congregation needed to change.

How they didn’t “get it”.

How they only thought about themselves and not about the people outside of the church.

This is a familiar story.

I hear many pastors talk this way.

Being a pastor is a weird profession for many reasons but one of them is because our job is all about people.

At the end of the day or a career there isn’t a lot to point to that shows our success in this area.

We don’t build things, create things, we don’t make lots of money.

We bring the good news of Jesus Christ to people.

And at the end of the day often there is nothing tangible to show us that we did that well or we failed.

So we measure our success by how much people, “get it”.

That night I challenged my newly ordained colleague and told her that I think that her congregation will never change, they will never “get it”.

And that it is not our job to change people.

That if she believes that is what she is doing she will end up really disappointed.

Over my 12 years of ministry I have tried to keep this in mind.

It was told to me by a veteran pastor when I was just starting out.

And for the most part I can remember this and not be frustrated.
I can love all of you for who you are, and not who I think you should be.

Every now and then it does get to me.

I get frustrated because I realize that even though I preach every week about opening ourselves up to others it doesn’t seem to get through.

And every now and then I can’t hold back.

I become disheartened and wonder why am I doing this.

What is the point?

What often saves me is realizing my own inability to change.

I would love to be one of those pastors who is always calm cool and collected.

I am sure that is how my grandfather was a pastor.

He always seemed to be graceful knowing the right thing to say and the right way to say it.

But that is not me.

I can’t always hide my displeasure.

I can’t always say the right thing.

So if I can’t change why would I expect you to?

If I fail often in my discipleship why would I expect you to be perfect in yours?

Maybe our Gospel this morning can help all of us.

Because when we read this Gospel about the transfiguration we might want to think about the disciples.

What did it do to them?

How were they changed after seeing Jesus with their religious heroes Moses and Elijah?

How did they change after having heard the voice of God from the cloud?

The answer is they didn’t change at all.

Peter is still impetuous speaking before he thinks.

When they come down off the mountain they are unable to cast out the demon of a young boy, even though Jesus had shown them how to do it before.

After this in Luke there will be other stories of how the disciples are not ready, and don’t get it.

Reading about the disciples always makes me feel better because I see myself in them.

I see the church in them.

Imperfect, fumbling, stubborn, blind.

But you see this is the point.

The story of the transfiguration is not about the disciples at all.

It is about Jesus.

It is not the disciples that are transformed, changed, and transfigured it is Jesus.

Jesus is the one who becomes “dazzling white”.

Jesus is the one who talks with Moses and Elijah.

Jesus is the one that is called “my son, my chosen” by God.

The attention of this story belongs on Jesus.

This is Luke’s way of saying to us that Jesus is the one we should listen to.

Jesus is the one who will die in Jerusalem on the cross to save us.

Jesus is the one who is the savior.

Jesus is the one who changes not us.

And isn’t that the problem.

We have made this all about us.

How we need to change.

How we need to grow in discipleship.

How we need to be different.

How we need to do this or that.

And church is not about any of that.

It is about seeing Jesus in all his glory for what he is our savior.

This is not about us, it is about Jesus.

And that is what gives me hope for our congregation and the Church at large.

As St. Paul says, “Therefore, since it is by God’s mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart.”

Not because we believe that we will change and someday we will magically “get it”.

Not because we believe that we will someday wake up and be ready to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Not because our efforts to being better people are successful, but because we know the wonderful mercy and grace of God through Jesus Christ.

That is what saves us.

That is what our ministry is built on.

At Wednesday worship this week when we were talking about this Gospel lesson people didn’t have a lot to say.

Lots of times we have to end the conversation before we run out of things to say about it.

But this week we ended just sitting there staring at our papers.

That is the correct and really only response to this story.

It is a mystical story that defies explanation.

It is outside our experience.

And we have the same reaction that the disciples had who witnessed it first hand, silence.

And that is perhaps the only reaction we should have in the face of the mystery and wonder of God.

Not some treaties on the nature of God.

Not some list of things that we need to work on and get better at.

But simply silence in the face of a God that is dazzling white.

A God, who gave the law, spoke through the prophets, created the world, and sent his son to fulfill it all.

A God who is filled with mercy.

That is the God of this Church.

It is the God who makes this ministry possible, because it is not built on me as your pastor (Thank God), and my agenda.
It is not built on you.

It is not built on you “getting it”.

It is built on the mercy of God who has called us here together.

This ministry is not here so that you can change, it is because we can’t, won’t, and don’t.

It is here because we are all so imperfect, stubborn, sinful, selfish, and lost that we need a savior.

We need a savior to shine light into the dark places of our lives.

We need a savior to bring us good news.

We need a savior to bring us hope.

And today on this transfiguration Sunday God has done that through his son Jesus Christ.

Today may you see Jesus dazzling white connecting us to the source of mercy that gives us hope so we do not lose heart.

Amen

God's Proclamations!

In our texts this morning what we have are proclamations from God.

Proclamations about who Jesus is, “You are my Son, the Beloved, with you I am well pleased.”

And because we are baptized into Christ Jesus these are proclamations that we share as children of God.

Proclamations about who we are, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

In our baptisms God proclaims to us these Biblical truths.

That we are God’s forever, and no matter what we can’t lose God.

Because we have not chosen God, but God has chosen us.

God has called us by name and redeemed us.

I know that these are concepts that seem far from everyday life.

There would seem to be an easier way to talk about God in our lives.

I have heard people talk about television preachers like Joel Olsteen.

People seem to like these popular preachers because they supposedly give messages about “everyday life”.

On the other hand, I have been told, that lots of mainline protestant pastors get caught up in theological explanation that don’t seem to have a lot to do with life.

I don’t think that is the difference at all.

Joel Olsteen, and other preachers like him, gives a message about self reliance.

He tells people that they can have it all, if they believe enough, if they are good enough, all their dreams can come true.

I think people like that message.

It is a message based on self.

I can’t give you that message this morning, or any Sunday morning really.

I can’t give you that message because it is not a Biblical message.

I also can’t give you that message because it is not totally the truth.

We all don’t make our own way.

We all can’t will ourselves to be better, or do better.

We cannot accomplish all of our dreams.

Some of who we are is defined by where we are born, what social economic class we are born into.

Some it has to do with who are parents are.

Some of it has to do with luck.

I offer as proof the amount of people who bought a lottery ticket this weekend in hopes of winning the $900 million dollar jackpot.

Why buy a lottery ticket if we can will our way to be anything we want?

If that was true wouldn’t all those who bought a ticket simply will their way to being a millionaire?

One of the ad campaigns for the lottery, it actually says, “Luck Happens.”

People bought tickets in the hopes of getting lucky.

They bought it in hopes of paying off bills, helping their families lives improve, giving some to charities they believe in.

They bought a ticket because life wasn’t all they wanted it to be, all they thought it should be.

The life they have actually worked really hard for isn’t good enough, so they need luck.

What we often hear.

What the world proclaims to us.

What we hear over and over again in subtle ways, and sometimes in overt ways, “You are not good enough.”

“Your life is not good enough.”

The things that you have actually worked really hard for don’t matter enough.

There needs to be more.

You should be in better shape.

You should have more money.

You should have smarter kids.

You should want more than this ordinary life.

I got a letter from Portico, this is the ELCA group that handles pastors retirement and health care, a while back.

It was a letter about my retirement.

And basically the message was, “You haven’t done enough for retirement. You will be broke and old someday.”

The message was I was failing at retirement and I haven’t even got there yet.

And this was from Portico which is supposed to be a ministry of the Church!

You see there are all sorts of proclamations like this in our lives.

They tell us we should be better.

They tell us we are not good enough.

And then the world tells us we don’t have what we want because we have not worked hard enough for it.

And then some religious person tells us that we don’t have because we don’t believe enough.

And we make ourselves crazy, depressed, and anxious because we don’t have the life that we think we need, or even believe we want.

Or we work harder and harder trying to get that life only to find out that is not very fulfilling either.

Some people win the lottery and their life gets worse.

Life is so much more complicated than simply get rich and life will be fine.

Even rich people have problems.

And those can’t be solved by money, fame, or buying more things.

And I can’t tell you that life will get better if you only believe more because it simply isn’t true.

What I offer you instead of a life trying always to be better, to do more, is the everyday wonder and magic of God’s grace.

I offer you the life of a baptized member of God’s family.

What that gets you is a proclamation from the creator of the universe.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

Do not fear that you are good enough, have done enough.

Do not fear that you are worthy.

Do not fear that you don’t have enough.

Do not fear that you haven’t saved enough for retirement.

Do not fear that you are a failure.

You are mine.

You are loved.

You are good enough.

I wonder if we go through our days thinking about that fact?

Do we live our lives under that truth?

Because that is what grace is about.

It is about knowing that what we do will never be enough.

We can never do enough to make life better.

But what we cannot do, God has already done.

I really do believe in the core of myself that if we could really live under that grace our lives would be truly better.

Not superficially better, but really better.

We would love more and judge less.

We would give more and horde less.

We would try more and worry less.

Because you see often times we don’t try because we worry about failing.

But failing at something is not the problem.

It is the idea that we would never do it because we might look foolish.

My daughter this week tried out for the spelling bee in her class.

Truth is she is like her father and not very good at spelling.

But I was proud of her, not because she won, but because she was not afraid to fail, and tried anyway.

That is what our Baptisms can do for all of us.

It can help us to know that even in failing we are worthy, and loved.

That is true to life.

It is the real experience that we have.

Not that if we just try real hard, and believe we will succeed.

But that sometimes even when we try and believe we will fail, and that is ok because at the center of our lives, at the center of the universe is a God that has proclaimed us loved, redeemed.

A God who has called us by name, and we know we belong to God.

I hope you all go out this week and fail.

And that in the failure you remember that your worth is not determined by what the world proclaims about you, but about what God has proclaimed about you.

Amen