Some Thoughts on Turning 52 (with the help from REM)

 

One of the things I love about music is that you can listen to something a thousand times and each time the meaning of it changes based on where you are in life, and what is going on around you in the world. This winter I have been relistening to the album, Green, by REM. They are one of my favorite bands. I have listened to their albums many times. Green is not my favorite REM album (That would be Document) but it is one that played a big role in my musical journey. I remember buying the cassette with my own money shortly after it was released. I remember bringing it home playing it on my stereo and reading the sleeve with the lyrics. It was an important moment for me. I was leaving behind my love of hard rock and heavy metal and exploring different bands that I had previously ignored. The Green tour was also the first time I saw REM in concert (at the Boston Garden with the Indigo Girls opening!) It was a rich and powerful time in my life, and REM provided the soundtrack.

                It has been said by the band that they thought that Green was “hazard, and scatter shot”. However, listening to it this year I heard a theme that is driving through the entire album. It asks us to think about our lives and where we stand in this world. This is the name of the lead single, “Stand”. We are asked to “think about our direction, wonder why?” In this time in my life, and in the history of our world and country, it seemed like a pertinent and important message for us all. To consider our place in the world, and what we stand for.

                Green opens with a song that asks us to think about the topics and things we talk about. “Should we talk about the weather? Should we talk about the government?” What are the things that we discuss. Do they matter? Do they carry weight? Or are we just going to talk about things that don’t matter? Are we just going to skate through life without a deeper understanding of why we are here, and what things we deeply believe? The older I get the more important it is for me to reflect on where I stand, and what I stand for.

                Green was released on November 8, 1988. It was purposely released on the day of the 1988 election. REM was dismayed at the way that our country seemed to not care about what was happening in the world. That we were sailing along on the heals of the supposed sunny Regan years. REM always challenged the narrative that we were in some golden years. They saw the destruction of the planet, the dangerous militarism, and an economy built for the rich. REM always stood against these things. Their music helped to awaken in me a call to see the world through the lens of things we don’t often say or talk about.

                All of this is the reason why, still at the age of 52, this album speaks to me. Although, now as I sit and think about the life I have lived, I continue to think about where I stand. I continue to work standing in a place that speaks of the values I was taught by my parents and grandparents. Values of love, caring, giving, humility, and kindness. Values that benefit not just me, but everyone. REM sings on the song, You Are Everything, “Sometimes I feel that I can’t even sing. I am very scared for this world. I am very scared for me.” That line sums up how I am feeling these days (I know I am not alone). And like many I am trying to figure out what to do in such times. That same song goes on to become much more personal about memories that we hold where we felt safe and secure in the world.

                As I turn 52, I find that I retreat more and more to those memories. Summers on the shores of lake Ossipee at Camp Calumet, long road trips with friends, sitting around the kitchen table with my mom and sisters talking, Christmas eve around the fire, worshipping at Triumphant Cross, lazy Saturdays at Muhlenberg college, watching sports with my dad, trips to visit my PopPop and grammy in New Jersey, going to Ocean Park Maine for a day every summer. Memories that remind me of the love many people have given me over the years. Love that formed me into the person I am and has given me the values I still hold close. Those memories are like a warm blanket that are helping me to navigate my life as I get older.

                Those are important. However, Green reminds me that they are not merely used to closing ourselves off to others. On the song, “World Leader Pretend” they ask us to consider the walls that we build up to protect us from others. They challenge us to use this time not to wall ourselves off but to break down those walls so that we might become empathetic to others. “This is my world and I am the World Leader Pretend. This is my life and this is my time, I have been given the freedom to do as I see fit. It's high time I razed the walls that I've constructed.” To be alive in this world, to be part of the world, we all need this examination of our motives, and why we are who we are. On my birthday this year I am thinking deeply about those walls, and how they prevent me from standing in the right place.

                I am thankful to all of you who have been a part of my journey in any way. Your love is what continues to always sustain me. That sense of belonging to others is what helps me to stand in all times. Your love is what has helped me to break down my own walls and let others in. Our shared memories are what sustain me as I grow older and take more stock in my life. We don’t know what the future holds, all we can do is live this day standing in the place of love. All we can do is work on breaking down the walls that keep us from loving one another. That is where I am standing on my 52^nd birthday.

 

Here is my playlist for my birthday this year:

 

People Watching - Sam Fender

Starring Contestant – The Orange Peelers (my son Charlie’s band)

Budapest – George Ezra

Love Take Miles – Cameron Winter

One Particular Harbor – Jimmy Buffett

Up Where we belong – Joe Crocker and Jennifer Warnes

Woman – John Lennon

I’m the Man Who Loves You – Wilco

Crumbling Empire – Sam Fender

I Melt with You – Modern English

The Only Living Boy in New York – Everything but the Girl (cover)

Gold Rush – Lucious

Shambala – Three Dog Night

Not Mine – Orange Peelers

Chapter Six – Kendrick Lamar

Same Old Song – The Lumineers

You Are Everything – REM

Trinket – Dispatch (featuring John Butler)

I Got Loaded – The Wood Brothers

A Beautiful Morning – The Rascals

Who Believes in Angels? – Elton John and Bradi Carlile

Tomorrow is a Long Time – Bob Dylan

World Leader Pretend – REM
Better Days – Lumineers

Love is Everywhere (Beware) – Wilco

When the Circus Comes – Phish

Everything is Broken – Bob Dylan

Mathilda – Cam Martin

Let Things Go – Caamp

Take My Hand – The Band Feel

All Too Well- Taylor Swift

Rewrite – Paul Simon

The Days That We Die – Loudon Wainwright III

Thoughts on Turning 50

    

Every once and a while I choose a band or solo artist to explore more and take a deep dive into their discography. This January I decided to get to know more about the Cure. I have been listening to the Cure a lot. They are so good! I kept asking myself why I missed them the first time. Here is the easy answer. It was my own prejudice as a young person. I remember in eighth grade a talent show someone did a lip sync to the Cure's "Lovesong".  At the time I thought that only weirdoes and losers listened to the Cure. I was into heavy metal at that time in my life, and any other form of music I would dismiss as less than great music like Aerosmith, Motley Crue, AC/DC, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Kiss, Whitesnake, etc… Of course, my musical taste changed over time. I grew out of that phase into listening to more diverse music.

            Here was my great mistake as a young person. I missed out on so much because of my narrow view of the world. I believed then that there was something that was "cool". As I turn fifty I realize more and more how uncool I am. My kids tell me this all the time. I am out of step with whatever the latest fads are. However, I think this is a good thing because I now see the truth that we are all geeks (shout out to my college professor who taught this in my politics and religion class).

            There are lots of reasons why I am having a difficult time turning fifty. It seems like something momentous. I suppose it is as simple as I don't know how many years are ahead of me. As a lifelong best friend said to me recently, "I would like to believe that I will retire at 65 and have a nice long life, but we both that is not guaranteed." You get to a certain age and realize that you are as old as your parents, or that more and more of your friends are not in great health. I have actually already lost friends to cancer. No one is given tomorrow. When you are young you simply don't have that perspective, nor should you.

                However, one of the things I want to celebrate this year is that I do have a wider perspective on the world and myself. I don't judge people like I once did. I realize now that I am a weirdo and loser too. I realize that we all are cut from the same human cloth. We are all vulnerable, afraid, and lost. We all seek redemption and sense of where we belong in this crazy world. The older you get the more you come to understand yourself. You come to see that you are not cool and never will be. This allows you to grow in relationships and love others and yourself more.

            The cure on the song "In between days",  they sing, "Yesterday I got so old I felt like I could die / Yesterday I got so old it made me want to cry." It is a song about regret, and about wishing you could take some things back. I wish I could take a lot of things back from my younger days. I wish I was more open-minded at an early age, but I was trying to be cool. The great thing about me now is I know I am not cool at all, and I can simply listen to the music I like or explore different music. I can be open to everyone I meet and love them for who they are, rather than only like the people who are "cool" like me. There are some things about getting old that I don't like. I don't like that I can't eat and drink whatever I want without consequence. I don't like the feeling that my life might be coming to an end. However, there are also some things I am really thankful for. I am thankful for knowing myself better because it helps me accept and love myself. I am thankful that I have a wider perspective on other people, it helps me to accept and love others too. I am thankful for my wife and kids. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful I get to be a pastor.

                Ultimately I am thankful to be alive and to grow old. I love my life and want it to keep going. I want to continue to explore new music. I want to learn more about the diversity in the world, and hear more stories that make me laugh, cry, and think. If you are reading this I want to thank you for being part of that journey with me. Thanks for putting up with me as I grew and learned more about myself and the world. Thanks for loving me, because when I think back it is your love that has helped me in my life to grow and change. As the Cure sings, "However far away I will always love you / However long I stay I will always love you / Whatever words I say I will always love you." That is what we really are left with at the end of the day the love that we share with one another. Thanks for your love over these 50 years!

 

 

 

50 Songs for 50 Years of Life

 

50 for 50 Years of Life:

 

I wanted to create a soundtrack for my life. These are not necessarily my favorite songs. They are songs that remind me of a certain time of my life. They evoke memories or nostalgia. This is something that I have talked with my friend Mike Fields about creating. I came up with some rules for this list.

  1) Can only use an artist once.

 2) The song had to be released that year. (The last song is the only exception to this rule)

3)   In the first couple of years, I simply picked songs that I liked or that reminded me of something later in life. For example, I will always remember being on a bus in eighth grade on a field trip and people insisting I listen to Hotel California. Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack was the number one song on the day I was born (March 7, 1973)

4) Only one song per year (I broke this rule on 1978…I have a lot of great memories of both of those songs!)

 

What would your list look like?

 

 

50 for 50 Years of Life:

 

1973 – Killing me softly-Roberta Flack

1974 – Matthew –John Denver

1975 – Shooting Star – Bad Company

I976 – Sick As a Dog - Aerosmith

1977 – Hotel California - Eagles

1978 – Grease Lightening – Grease/ Copacapana  - Barry Manilow

1979 – The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

1980 – Everybody Needs Somebody -Blues Brothers

1981 – Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield

1982 – Jack and Diane – John Cougar

1983 – Every Breath You Take – The Police

1984 – Jump – Van Halen

1985 – Home Sweet Home – Motley Crue

1986 – These Dreams – Heart

1987 – Touch of Grey – Grateful Dead

1988 – Every Rose Has It’s thorn - Poison

1989 – If We Never Meet Again – Tommy Cromwell and the Young Rumblers

1990 – Bouncing Round the Room - Phish

1991 – Half the World Away - REM

1992 – No Rain – Blind Melon

1993 – Laid – James

1994 –Better Man – Pearl Jam

1995 – Ironic  - Alanis Morsette

1996 – What I got – Sublime

1997 – The General  - Dispatch

1998 – One Week – Bear Naked Ladies

1999 – Doo Wop that thing – Lauren Hill

2000 – Beautiful Day  - U2

2001 – Last Night – The strokes

2002 -  The Rising – Bruce Springsteen

2003 – Mr. Brightside – The Killers

2004 – American Idiot – Green Day

2005 – Best of You – Foo Fighters

2006 – Satellite – Guster

2007 – 1234 – Feist

2008 – Dogs Days Are Over – Florence and the Machine

2009 – Home – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

2010 – The Cave – Mumford and Sons

2011 – Born this Way – Lady Gaga

2012 – Ho Hey - Lumineers

2013 – Two of us on the Run – Luscious

2014 – Rip Tide – Vance Joy

2015 – Rescue Me – Amy Helm

2016 – Better Man – Leon Bridges

2017 – Day I Die – The National

2018 – You’re the One – Greta Van Fleet

2019 – California – OAR

2020 – Haven’t been Doing so Well – Frank Turner

2021 – How Dare You Want More - Bleachers

2022- Lost Track – Haim

2023 – Love is All You Need – The Beatles

50 things I learned from the movies

 50 things I learned from the movies

1) “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”

2) “Do or do not. There is no try.”

3) “Love doesn't make things nice, it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. “

4) “Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear.”

5) “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

6) “Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

7) “There is no tomorrow”

8) “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”

9) "Every man dies, but not every man really lives."

10) "Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

11) "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get."

 12) “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

13) “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.”

14) "All men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math."

15) “Great moments are born from great opportunity.”

16) "See, this is our time to dance. It is our way of celebrating life."

17) “Always Do The Right Thing.”

 

18)  “If you hit it right, it's one hell of a life.”

 

19) “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

20) “The Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV!”

 21) “Plastics.”

 

22) “A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.”

 

23) “The sweet is never as sweet without the sour”

 

24) "You can't handle the truth!" 

25) "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

26) "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."

27) "A boy's best friend is his mother."

28) "These go to eleven."

29) "The Dude abides."

30) “The Things You Own End Up Owning You.”

31) “You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.”

32) “It’s not the years it’s the mileage.”

33) “What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music? “

34) “People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff.”

35) "There's More To Life Than A Little Money, You Know.”

36) “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

37) “After all, the wool from the black sheep is just as warm.
”

38) “The needs of the many out way the needs of the few or the one.”

39) “I Guess You Guys Aren’t Ready For That Yet. But Your Kids Are Gonna Love It.”

40)  “You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don’t come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were.”

41) “Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.”

42) “Everything in the world that happens does not happen to you personally.”

43) “Either They Don't Know...Don't Show...Or Don't Care About What's Going On In The Hood.”

44) “Pinot is thin-skinned, temperamental. It's not a survivor like Cabernet that can grow anywhere and thrive even when neglected. Pinot needs constant care and attention, you know?”

45) “The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.”

46) “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.”

47) “Don't admire people too much. They'll disappoint you sometimes.”

48) “The way to handle a woman

Is to love her...simply love her...”

49) "Love, Actually, Is All Around."

50) “The force be with you!”

 

 

50 Things I Learned From Rock n Roll

  

50 things I learned from Rock n Roll

1) Sometimes it goes so fast
I try to make some moment last
I watch it slippin' past

2) It used to seem to me that my life ran on too fast
And I had to take it slowly just to make the good parts last

3) Trust me friend a hundred years
Goes faster than you think, so don't blink

4) Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

5) I may cross the river jordan
I may face the rising tide
I got a simple plan to get us through these stormy days
hold on to each other find a way
we got to hold on to each other find a way

6) Another day, another life
Passes by just like mine
It's not complicated

7) Every little thing is gonna be alright

8) What else should I be?
All apologies

9) We learned more from a three-minute record, baby
Than we ever learned in school

10) And when your looks are gone and you're alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone
What were the things you wanted for yourself
Teenage ambitions you remember well

11) Seasons change, people change
But you can't hold back the clock
Cause time won't stop for you and me
And the world keeps spinning 'round

12)  And the only thing certain is
That everything changes

13) Life is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans.

14) Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

15) Laugh on and live
Learn how to forgive

16) I'm reaching for heaven, we'll make it there
Darling, it's just the power of prayer

17) Here is to us and all that we see
Here's to our hearts and the air that we breath
Here's to a round in good company
Here's to a drink that we share

18) Oh, in some ways it's the same
But tonight the crowd they came
Fists in the air, candles and vigils
Cracked dreams held together with curses and wishes

19) Let Love rule

20) Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

21) I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul
Where I'll end up, well, I think only God really knows

22) I keep looking for some kind of sign
Trying to hold on in this race against time
I can't say where the next bend might be
That is the beauty in life's mystery

23) Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

24) The lights will draw you in
And the dark will bring you down
And the night will break your heart
But only if you're lucky now

25) I say reaching for Heaven is what I'm on Earth to do

26) Here's to the nights we won't remember
With the friends we won't forget

27)  What makes me think I could start clean slated
The hardest to learn was the least complicated

28) Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

29) It's my life it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever.

30) And the days go by, like a strand in the wind

31)  I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive

32) It's no better to be safe than sorry

33) The ocean is the river's goal
A need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go

34) You belong somewhere you feel free

35) The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

36) All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

37) I believe in you baby
And I'll always be around

38) feel your way like the day before
Maybe you'll find direction
Around some corner where it's been waiting to meet you

39) The more that I see the less that I know for sure

40) I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past

41) joy was just the thing that he was raised on
Love is just the way to live and die

42) I want to have a little faith, I want to know what a guy and a girl
Can do when they're dizzy
Cause they're just not spinning with this world

43) One day, you're gonna look back, how far you've gone
But you better walk before you run

44) You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

45) Time may change a lot but some things may stay the same

46) Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed

47) There's no race, there's only a runner
Just keep one foot in front of the other

48) Tired and wired, we ruin too easy

49) Fight the power

50) All you need is love

Today is a special day

 Today is a special day.

Every day we have a baptism in our congregation is a special day, but today is extra special.

It is, of course, special for Madeline and Dan as parents of Louis.

Baptism means a lot to people of faith.

It is a ritual that marks the start of a lifelong journey of faith.

It is special for Paul and Kate, the grandparents of Louis.

We have seen throughout the years their faith, and their commitment to that faith.

Paul and Kate are two of the people I know I can count on to help with whatever our congregation needs.

I have leaned on them for advice and help over the 14 years I have been the pastor here.

But today is extra special for our congregation.

It is a rare time, maybe the only time in my years of being a pastor, when someone who grew up in our congregation, whose family has been such an important part of our congregation, has their baby baptized.

For most of the baptisms, I do it is someone who calls up wanting to know if we do baptisms.

They may or may not have some connection to Concordia.

And a lot of times I never see that family again.

Or I don't see them until there is another child, or they need some other type of pastoral care.

I always say yes to every request.

I am joyful when people, for whatever reason, have some desire to be baptized.

 

But most of the time it comes from an idea about baptism that we don't hold.

It is mostly people hedging their bets.

It is people who don't necessarily have a faith commitment, but they believe it is necessary to have their child baptized.

And it is usually for one of two reasons.

One, they believe if they don't have their children baptized their children will go to hell.

Two, they do it out of obligation to their family.

Grandma really wants their kids to be baptized so they do it for that reason.

Just as one example, in my last congregation, there was a couple who wanted to get married in our congregation.

They had a friend to who they promised they would get married in that building.

I presided over the wedding.

I didn't hear from them until they had their first child.

They wanted their child to be baptized.

I happily did the baptism.

After worship, I talked to them and they said, "Well…we'll see you when we have the next kid."

They had no intention of living out the vows they made during the baptism.

 

Let me tell you why I always say, "yes" to anyone who wants to have their children baptized even though I know I will never see them again.

Grace.

I believe in God's grace so much that I don't have to say no to people.

I can give them the blessing of baptism, and then release them to God's care.

I can believe that in some ways that I can't see, and they can't see, their relationship with God will grow through the workings of the Holy Spirit.

 

Because Baptism is not a one-time event.

It is not just about today.

It is about a lifetime of learning about God's grace for us.

It is about a lifetime of growing in our relationship with God.

It is about learning to trust God in all the circumstances of our lives.

I think if we have any witness to offer other people about the importance of faith it is that.

We have learned to trust God even in the worst of circumstances.

Even through death.

I know that people of faith always say, "I don't know how people make it through life without faith in God."

That is a true statement.

It is our faith that helps us to face all the difficult things of life.

That is why today is a great day for Louis and his family.

It is a day when he is given the promise of God's continuing care for him.

Today is the day when Louis is given the invitation to a lifelong relationship with God.

 

And isn't that what Jesus offers his disciples in our Gospel for this morning.

Jesus has what seems like a disjointed discussion with his would-be disciples.

Jesus asks them what they are looking for.

And they respond by asking, Where are you staying?"

The reason these would be disciples ask Jesus this question is because the disciples see Jesus as a Rabbi.

They are asking if they can come and stay with him.

They want to know if Jesus will be their teacher.

What they are seeking is teaching from Jesus.

And Jesus invites them to come and learn.

Jesus invites them to come and see what it means to know God and to have faith in God.

That is what John's Gospel is about.

It is about trusting in Jesus.

It is about knowing God so deeply and intimately that even though the world is coming apart.

Even though things are bad, God is there for you.

Jesus will say in another part of John's Gospel, " In the world you will have tribulation, but take courage: I have conquered the world!”

Even though you sin God is there to forgive you.

And these things can only be learned by having a lifelong relationship with God, and having God with you as you live through difficult things in your life.

 

I know that the Russo family knows this truth.

They live it all the time.

I know that Madeline and Dan know this truth too.

And that is why today is so special because we know that Louis will come to know this truth too.

We know that this faith that we all share is being handed down from one generation to the next.

 

I would also imagine that many people in our congregation this morning are remembering Madeline when she was younger.

I know that whenever I go back to the congregation that I grew up in people will say, "I remember when you were just a little kid running through the church."

Or,  "I remember when you were a teenager and caused all those problems."

I once went back to my home congregation when I was in seminary.

And one of my old Sunday School teachers said, "this is what a good Sunday school program produces."

I indeed learned

faith in that congregation from all of those people, and they all deserve credit for helping me grow up in the faith.

I can imagine similar feelings today in our congregation about Madeline.

Pride in seeing her grow up and do well.

Pride that she sees the benefit in having her child baptized here among us.

The joy that we all get to share at this moment as a congregation.

The joy that this child will get to come and see what God has to offer.

The joy that this child will grow up to know the grace of God in a deep and meaningful way.

 

Today is a special day.

God has invited Louis to come and see.

To know throughout his life of the power, beauty, and wonder of God's grace and love.

May this special day uplift us all.

May it remind us of all of our baptisms.

May it remind us of God's grace for us.

May it remind us of the importance of our church community and the faith we share throughout the generations.

May it remind us that we all grow in learning from Jesus about our God who calls us to come and see God's love and grace all our lives.

Amen