This summer on my sabbatical I read
10 books.
The book that was the most
challenging of those 10 was not a book about ministry, or the condition of the
Church.
It was a book written by Sue Klebold,
“A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy.”
Sue Klebold was the mother of Dylan
Klebold who was one of the teenagers who shot and killed 13 people at Columbine
high school in 1992.
The book is her story of what
happened and how she tried to piece together some explanation of what happened.
It was a challenging book not because
of how unbelievable it was, although it is unbelievable to think that someone
would do what Dylan did.
It was a challenging book because Sue
Klebold says in the book, “Love is not enough.”
She writes, “My love for Dylan, though
infinite, did not keep Dylan safe, nor did it save the thirteen people killed
at Columbine High School, or the many others injured and traumatized.”
This was challenging for a couple of
reasons.
This is my basic idea of parenting.
I am not a perfect father, but I love
my kids.
I assume that my love will keep them
safe.
Even though my kids have their
challenges I just assume that ultimately my love and Vicki’s love will be
enough.
But even more challenging for me is
that this is my basic idea for how to make the world a better place.
If I love people that I come into
contact in my life then the world will be better.
If I can convince enough of you to
love as God has loved you that will make the world a better place.
Much of my life’s work is about
making this world a little less harsh, and more loving.
Maybe if we love someone who thinks
of themselves as unlovable we can change that person’s life.
I was once told by someone that my
way of looking at the world is naïve.
That wishing there was more love in the
world doesn’t make it so.
And that this wishing only leads to
bigger problems.
We allow evil to linger if we are not
strong enough to get rid of it.
In other words, they basically said,
“Love isn’t enough.”
That was/is challenging for me to
accept.
It has undermined my entire
philosophy of life.
I was wondering this week if Jesus
can identify with my struggle.
We are told that Jesus mission is to
show us God’s love.
In John’s Gospel we read, “For God so
loved the world that he sent his only son…. so that those who believe in him
will have eternal life.”
In all of the Gospels we see Jesus
not only talk about love but show us that love.
We see Jesus express love to all
kinds of people who otherwise thought themselves unlovable.
This morning’s Gospel we see Jesus
reach out to heal lepers.
To give of himself to people thought
by many to be unclean.
And of those 10 lepers only one
returns to give thanks.
Only one person recognizes what was
done for them.
It is a metaphor for all of Jesus
ministry.
Only a few really understood what
Jesus was about, what he was trying to do.
Only a few understood the power of
God that was in Jesus.
Most of the people of Jesus’ day thought
Jesus was crazy.
They thought he was soft.
They thought he was wrong for hanging
out with sinners.
They thought he was a traitor to his
people for healing and talking to foreigners, and non Jews.
Love wasn’t enough to convince people
that God was on their side.
So they did what people do.
They turned to violence.
They killed Jesus, hung him on a
cross, because if he was the son of God, then they were wrong about who God was
and what God was about.
It is a challenge to live in a world
where love doesn’t always matter.
Where people see love and think it
means that you don’t understand the ways of the world.
Today’s Gospel story can be turned
into an easy morality tale.
It can be turned into a lesson about
giving thanks.
Don’t be so ungrateful.
But I think that is too simple an
explanation.
I think it misses a larger point.
God is among us, and we miss it.
Love is around us and we ignore it.
Jesus Christ was right there with
people and most people didn’t care, or it made them angry.
Think about it.
It made them angry that God was with
them!
How much God activity do we miss in
our lives?
I have talked to lots of people about
this book because it was so challenging for me.
And after I tell them that “love is
not enough.” they all want to know, “what is the answer then?”
I have to tell you after reading the
book there are not a lot of great answers.
It was clear to me that columbine
would have happened regardless.
(That is another really challenging
point the book makes.)
But Sue Klebold does talk about some
of her regrets.
(She is clear to say that these may
or may not have made a difference.)
She writes, “I wish I had listened
more instead of lecturing; I wish I had sat in silence with him instead of
filling the void with my own words and thoughts.
I wish I had acknowledged his
feelings instead of trying to talk him out of them, and that I’d never accepted
his excuses to avoid conversation.”
I think that perhaps for all of us
there is a lesson here about how to be in this world.
I know that my tendency is to talk a
lot.
It is to lecture.
It is to fill the void with words.
It is to try to explain rather than
listen to what people are expressing in their feelings.
And maybe the same can be said with
our relationship with God.
Do we take time to listen to what God
is up to in our lives?
Do we take time to sit in the
uncomfortable places in our lives and let God work them work out?
Are we too busy telling God what is
going to happen?
Certainly the people of Jesus day
missed the love that had been sent to them.
They had missed the activity of God
right there in front of them.
They were too busy lecturing God on
what God was supposed to be doing.
But this is still a problem because
it depends too much on us.
It makes this Gospel story a morality
tale about how we can know God better.
It is not about what we have done.
It is about what God has done.
And I believe that what Sue Klebold
wished she did as a mother God has done with us.
That God sits with us in the dark and
waits.
God listens to us without the lecture
of what we have done wrong.
God sits with us in the uncomfortable
times and places in our lives.
God acknowledges our feelings about
what is going on in our lives.
Sue Klebold might be right love is
not enough.
Our love is never enough because it
is always just short of what is really needed.
We lecture when we should listen.
We fill the void with our own
thoughts and feelings, instead of trying to understand someone else.
We want to be right more than we want
to understand where someone else is coming from.
We need more from each other than we
can really ever get.
That is why we need God.
The lepers in our Gospel don’t know
true love without Jesus.
And it is the understanding of that
love that led the one leper to fall down and give praise.
When we understand how much we need God
and how much God has done for us.
Then it is our naturally inclination
to give God thanks and praise.
So today know that God is active in
your life.
And especially if you feel alone,
forsaken, unloved, uncared for.
God sits in the silence with you, and
listens to your breaking heart.
Maybe our love is not enough, but I still
believe that God’s is!
Amen
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