Learning to Pray

 

Today is the first anniversary of my mom's death

She had stage four cancer for about 10 years.

She had decided early in 2021 to stop all treatment.

We knew that it was coming.

I thought about all the prayers I offered up for her in those 10 years.

I thought about the prayers I offered in those final days.

What was it that I prayed for?

What was it that God answered?

I know that I wasn’t the only one praying for my mom.

You all were too.

She was on our prayer list for those ten years.

My mom had many friends and people who loved her they all prayed too.

What did they pray for?

What did you pray for?

 

Last Sunday I was at my in-laws for their anniversary, and to visit with some lifelong friends.

We had a really nice day at the lake.

It was the kind of day my mom would have loved.

A day with friends and family, filled with laughter and sharing.

Anyway, my wife told this story about a woman we all knew who was an atheist.

According to my wife this woman once said to her.

“If I want gum and I ask God for gum will I get gum?”

I guess that is one way to look at prayer.

That we make a request or demand and God gives it to us, or God doesn’t.

And if we get what we want then there is a God, and if we don’t then God doesn’t exist.

I suppose if we read our Gospel this morning we can guess that this is how it works.

Jesus tells us that God wouldn’t give us something evil if we ask for something good.

Jesus tells us that persistent prayer works.

 

I guess that there are people of faith who also believe in this.

It misses something important I think in our Gospel this morning.

It misses that the disciples ask Jesus to, “teach us to pray”.

I was thinking about this a lot this week.

That learning to pray is a process.

Prayer isn’t natural for us, or maybe it is just that the nature of our prayers changes over time.

 

My sister sent me a video of my mom this week.

It was made because my nephew for his confirmation had to ask some questions to a member of the congregation.

He asked my mom about when she prayed.

She described her prayer life as a daily event.

More than this she described it as something she did all day long.

And that it was more of a conversation in her soul with God.

 

I like that image of a constant event.

Something we are doing all the time as we seek to know God in our lives.

Prayer isn’t a one-time event where we ask for things.

It is not a test of our faith.

Rather it is a sign of our faith in God.

That is what I think Jesus is getting at with his teaching on prayer.

 

If you want to know what prayer is then you have to be constantly in a relationship with God.

Prayer is something that forms us, it is something that helps us grow in our faith.

Because the woman my wife was talking about is correct.

If prayer is just about getting all we want then it is not worth doing.

Instead, we have to be taught throughout our faith journey what to pray, and how to pray.

 

I learned this over the last ten years of my mother's life.

I can tell you I never prayed for her to be cured.

I never expected that.

I knew it wasn’t in the cards.

I prayed a lot that she would have the courage to meet the days ahead.

Over time I even changed that to pray that I would have the courage to meet those days too.

I prayed for wisdom and understanding.

I prayed that I might be able to accept her wishes even when they were not mine.

Towards the end of her life, I prayed prayers of thanksgiving.

I gave thanks to God for giving me such a great mom.

I gave thanks for the faith that she showed in God in those last days.

I will tell you that all my prayers were answered.

God was with her all the time.

Her faith in that truth was amazing to watch.

 

It was a beautiful thing.

I feel bad for people that don’t have that.

People that don’t have faith to meet the days ahead.

People who don’t have faith to place life and death in the hands of God.

And isn’t that really what the Lord’s prayer boils down to.

It is to say that whatever this day brings we put it in God’s hands.

For our food, for our sins, for our trials and temptations, in faith we give them all to God.

And we only ask that God’s will is done and that heaven comes to us.

 

It is not a prayer of asking for things that we want.

It is a prayer of thanksgiving for all God has done and will do for us.

It is a prayer of faith.

Faith that God this very day walks with us.

In life and death, God’s will be done.

 

And ultimately that is the prayer we all come to.

Because so much of life is out of our control.

We can’t stop cancer.

We can’t stop our loved ones from dying.

We can’t bring order out of a world of chaos.

What we can do is give it over to God.

We can learn to pray in faith.

We can learn to be grateful for our daily bread, for each other.

We can learn to thank God for good friends gathered around good food.

We can learn to love one another.

All of that flows from a life of prayer, a life lived in a daily moment-by-moment relationship with God.

 

During this past year, I have been thinking about this quote by John Lennon, “Everything turns out all right in the end. If not it is not the end.”

I have found this to be true.

Because for us as people of faith the end is only two things.

One is being with God in eternity.

The second is that God’s kingdom does come to earth.

And both of those things are great outcomes.

This is why prayer can never be just a one-time event.

It is why it is something we do throughout our lives.

And I think we come to understand through the process of constant prayer that everything works out.

That our lives work out.

That the things we worry about work out.

 

This week a person I know from another Lutheran Congregation posted on Facebook about how God might need a minute to answer our prayers.

That God might be working on the thing we are praying for right now.

Here is a part of what he said, “have Faith, Live with Gratitude, and Be Patient

Above all, be ready to accept what God has prepared for you, because at the end of the day, although it will probably not be exactly what you want, it will definitely be what you need.”

That was true for me these last ten years.

It was true one year ago when my mom went to be with God.

It was true all this year as I mourned her loss.

 

I want to thank you for all the prayers you offered for me or my mother during those ten years.

I want you to know that they mattered to me and to her.

I hope that every day and all day you pray.

That you keep learning how to pray.

And that your faith is deepened by that experience.

Faith that God is with you in all things you face today and all your tomorrow.

Amen