My daughter is going to going off to sleep away camp (Camp Calumet Lutheran in Ossipee, NH) for the first time tomorrow. My wife was asked to write a letter to the staff. She wrote this wonderful and moving letter I had to share it.
Like all of you, I have a Calumet story. My
story may have started a wee bit before your time, when I learned to walk here
at Calumet as a family camper – circa
1978. I loved family camping each summer
with my church family and dreamed of when I could (like my big sister) have my
turn at resident camp. I kicked it off
in girls cabin one at the age eight and was an eight year camper leading up to
being a CIT, JC, SC, Waterfront Director/Swimming Department Head and finally
Program Director. That last summer I
started dating my husband (he was the CIT trainer). We were married two years later. We have returned as family campers every
summer since, even when that meant traveling from New York
for our annual camping trip with our life long friends and family who are fellow
Calumet alumni. Well, that brings us to today, I have two
kids and I have a new chapter to add to my Calumet
story. Tomorrow I am the mom dropping
off my eight year old daughter for her first time at resident camp. I will be on the receiving end of your smile,
your firm hand shake and your assurance that it will be the “Best summer ever!”
We have been planning for this day
for a long time. We have been saving money,
filling out paper work, buying the right sandals, labeling clothes with a Sharpie,
the list goes on and on. For at least
eight weeks my daughter has been making her own plans. I had to start limiting her to three camp
questions a night, which are all routed in nervous excitement. Tonight she asked, “What if I don’t make a
friend?” But some nights she asks more
logistical questions like “Where will I put my wet bathing suit?” She has even fallen
asleep while making her packing check lists in her journal. Reality is hitting for me. I am leaving my first baby with you for a
week. I have never gone a day without
talking to her, and never more than 2 or 3 days without seeing her. Ever.
I bet I am not alone either. Lots
of moms and dads are going through the same thing, and it feels like a really
huge milestone. I have been at Calumet my whole life.
It has shaped me into who I am and still, STILL I am nervous to leave my
daughter. My bet is I am not the only
one nervous. I bet you are nervous and I
know she is excited, but is also nervous.
A few years back, my son had a
preschool teacher who wanted to speak to me one day about his difficulty
getting along with the other kids. I was
upset and embarrassed as I went to meet with her. That day she said to me, “We all have
something we are working on, and this is just his thing.” She was right. Each one of us has “something” we are working
on. For some kids its how to interact
with a peer when they are nervous, for some kids it’s that they are afraid of
fish in the lake. For some of us it is being patient enough to wait for the
last kid out of the cabin when the bell already rang for breakfast without
loosing our cool. No counselor is
perfect, no camper is perfect and no parent is perfect. We all have something we are working on and
we get to be teachers to each other along the way.
I am sure you have heard the cliché
“It takes a village to raise a child”.
Here’s the thing about clichés, there is usually some truth in them. I would love to keep my daughter home with me
all summer. We could busy our days with
crafts, reading, making fairy house, swimming, ice cream and baking and I could
teach her all kinds of things and she would be fine. BUT I would be kidding myself. There comes a point when kids have to take
the tools we have given them and try them out.
Away from their parents. My
daughter hears me tell her every day, “You can do it!”, “Just be yourself!”, “Just
try it!” and “Do your best!” but the
truth is, until she believes it on her own they are just my words. It is in the trying, the failing and the
succeeding that she will know those words.
That is called self esteem, self respect, and self confidence. If you knew it or not- this village includes
you. You are part of this village
raising my daughter. And it’s your turn.
I am nervous, you may be and so is
she, but it is time. And we all have an
amazing opportunity to learn and grow. I
have faith and it is deep and strong because it was nurtured right where you
are. Calumet
is a powerful gift. This week when I am
missing my daughter, my eight year old who I have spoken to, hugged, kissed
every day of her life….I will be okay because I will cling to knowing she is
getting a gift and you are delivering it.
Thank you for loving each child, for teaching them, encouraging them
when they say “I can’t”, for slowing down, bending down, looking them in the
eye and telling them it is okay and
tucking them in with a hug, a story, a prayer and the assurance that they are
loved.
We are nervous- that is because
this is really big. I tell my kids all the
time, “It is ok to be nervous, as long as the nervousness doesn’t stop you from
doing something.” So onward we will go. You
are in a very powerful position and I know that you are about to learn as much as
my daughter will. We all have something
we are working on. Your lessons will be different but each child will teach you
something this summer, they are unique, they have questions, they have faith,
and you will learn through the listening and the teaching. I know this because it happened to me.
Dear God,
Thank you for summer, a time to try
new things. Watch over parents as they
travel to Calumet with their most precious
cargo. Be with the staff and guide their
actions and words. Guide and comfort
parents with the reassurance that their children will learn Your love by living
in the Calumet community; a unique place where
everyone is accepted and feels Your love in a tangible way that they haven’t
ever felt before. Lord, we are all a
little bit nervous, fill us with you big, big love. Amen
I will keep praying for you and
praying that it really IS the Best summer Calumet
has ever had!
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