Some Thoughts on Turning 52 (with the help from REM)

 

One of the things I love about music is that you can listen to something a thousand times and each time the meaning of it changes based on where you are in life, and what is going on around you in the world. This winter I have been relistening to the album, Green, by REM. They are one of my favorite bands. I have listened to their albums many times. Green is not my favorite REM album (That would be Document) but it is one that played a big role in my musical journey. I remember buying the cassette with my own money shortly after it was released. I remember bringing it home playing it on my stereo and reading the sleeve with the lyrics. It was an important moment for me. I was leaving behind my love of hard rock and heavy metal and exploring different bands that I had previously ignored. The Green tour was also the first time I saw REM in concert (at the Boston Garden with the Indigo Girls opening!) It was a rich and powerful time in my life, and REM provided the soundtrack.

                It has been said by the band that they thought that Green was “hazard, and scatter shot”. However, listening to it this year I heard a theme that is driving through the entire album. It asks us to think about our lives and where we stand in this world. This is the name of the lead single, “Stand”. We are asked to “think about our direction, wonder why?” In this time in my life, and in the history of our world and country, it seemed like a pertinent and important message for us all. To consider our place in the world, and what we stand for.

                Green opens with a song that asks us to think about the topics and things we talk about. “Should we talk about the weather? Should we talk about the government?” What are the things that we discuss. Do they matter? Do they carry weight? Or are we just going to talk about things that don’t matter? Are we just going to skate through life without a deeper understanding of why we are here, and what things we deeply believe? The older I get the more important it is for me to reflect on where I stand, and what I stand for.

                Green was released on November 8, 1988. It was purposely released on the day of the 1988 election. REM was dismayed at the way that our country seemed to not care about what was happening in the world. That we were sailing along on the heals of the supposed sunny Regan years. REM always challenged the narrative that we were in some golden years. They saw the destruction of the planet, the dangerous militarism, and an economy built for the rich. REM always stood against these things. Their music helped to awaken in me a call to see the world through the lens of things we don’t often say or talk about.

                All of this is the reason why, still at the age of 52, this album speaks to me. Although, now as I sit and think about the life I have lived, I continue to think about where I stand. I continue to work standing in a place that speaks of the values I was taught by my parents and grandparents. Values of love, caring, giving, humility, and kindness. Values that benefit not just me, but everyone. REM sings on the song, You Are Everything, “Sometimes I feel that I can’t even sing. I am very scared for this world. I am very scared for me.” That line sums up how I am feeling these days (I know I am not alone). And like many I am trying to figure out what to do in such times. That same song goes on to become much more personal about memories that we hold where we felt safe and secure in the world.

                As I turn 52, I find that I retreat more and more to those memories. Summers on the shores of lake Ossipee at Camp Calumet, long road trips with friends, sitting around the kitchen table with my mom and sisters talking, Christmas eve around the fire, worshipping at Triumphant Cross, lazy Saturdays at Muhlenberg college, watching sports with my dad, trips to visit my PopPop and grammy in New Jersey, going to Ocean Park Maine for a day every summer. Memories that remind me of the love many people have given me over the years. Love that formed me into the person I am and has given me the values I still hold close. Those memories are like a warm blanket that are helping me to navigate my life as I get older.

                Those are important. However, Green reminds me that they are not merely used to closing ourselves off to others. On the song, “World Leader Pretend” they ask us to consider the walls that we build up to protect us from others. They challenge us to use this time not to wall ourselves off but to break down those walls so that we might become empathetic to others. “This is my world and I am the World Leader Pretend. This is my life and this is my time, I have been given the freedom to do as I see fit. It's high time I razed the walls that I've constructed.” To be alive in this world, to be part of the world, we all need this examination of our motives, and why we are who we are. On my birthday this year I am thinking deeply about those walls, and how they prevent me from standing in the right place.

                I am thankful to all of you who have been a part of my journey in any way. Your love is what continues to always sustain me. That sense of belonging to others is what helps me to stand in all times. Your love is what has helped me to break down my own walls and let others in. Our shared memories are what sustain me as I grow older and take more stock in my life. We don’t know what the future holds, all we can do is live this day standing in the place of love. All we can do is work on breaking down the walls that keep us from loving one another. That is where I am standing on my 52^nd birthday.

 

Here is my playlist for my birthday this year:

 

People Watching - Sam Fender

Starring Contestant – The Orange Peelers (my son Charlie’s band)

Budapest – George Ezra

Love Take Miles – Cameron Winter

One Particular Harbor – Jimmy Buffett

Up Where we belong – Joe Crocker and Jennifer Warnes

Woman – John Lennon

I’m the Man Who Loves You – Wilco

Crumbling Empire – Sam Fender

I Melt with You – Modern English

The Only Living Boy in New York – Everything but the Girl (cover)

Gold Rush – Lucious

Shambala – Three Dog Night

Not Mine – Orange Peelers

Chapter Six – Kendrick Lamar

Same Old Song – The Lumineers

You Are Everything – REM

Trinket – Dispatch (featuring John Butler)

I Got Loaded – The Wood Brothers

A Beautiful Morning – The Rascals

Who Believes in Angels? – Elton John and Bradi Carlile

Tomorrow is a Long Time – Bob Dylan

World Leader Pretend – REM
Better Days – Lumineers

Love is Everywhere (Beware) – Wilco

When the Circus Comes – Phish

Everything is Broken – Bob Dylan

Mathilda – Cam Martin

Let Things Go – Caamp

Take My Hand – The Band Feel

All Too Well- Taylor Swift

Rewrite – Paul Simon

The Days That We Die – Loudon Wainwright III